Alan Paid

Alan Test is the unassuming, yet surprisingly influential, founder of the "Institute for Applied Mundanity." Based in a converted bus depot in Ohio, Alan's life work is the rigorous study of everyday inconveniences. He is the author of the controversial paper, "A Statistical Analysis of T-Shirt Tag Itchiness," and is credited with developing the "Test Scale," a 12-point system for measuring the precise level of frustration experienced when a USB device is inserted incorrectly on the first try. His research on the "aerodynamic instability of the fitted sheet" is considered a foundational text in the niche field of "Domestic Irritant Theory."A devoted "anti-hobbyist," Alan spends his free time actively avoiding new skills and experiences, claiming it "keeps the palate clean" for his professional work. He lives in a meticulously average home where he is conducting a decades-long experiment to find the "perfectly neutral" shade of beige paint, which he calls "Project: Un-feeling." He famously eats the same brand of unsalted cracker for lunch every day, not for taste, but because his data shows it provides the "most consistent and predictable Crunche-to-Satisfaction ratio" (CTR) on the market.